University of California San Diego STÖF

SCOTOMAVILLE 01.09 University of California San Diego Emotional Vocabulary

"Welcome back to a fabulous day in... Scotomaville!"

The airplane pilots are out. All the daily activity has moved and we're gonna start talking about something that's very challenging. It's a tool but it's really, really hard to master. It's called an emotional vocabulary. And we're gonna give you a tool called an emotional word list. You can just download it, print it, stick it on your refrigerator.

I had it on my refrigerator for at least two and a half three years. And every week I tried to acquire a most challenging, deeply felt, emotional word. Sounds really touchy-feely. It is! Yeah, it's really stuff to mess with your head. That was, that still is tough. It's still hard, they're not right on the surface yet. I have to really dig for them. I had to put it on the refrigerator for at least..

The reason it's so important, and I'll quote Tony Robbins on this one 'Distinction is power!'

    

"For you to become an emotional vocabulary 'sommelier', right? You know, those incredibly discerning wine connoisseurs, those masterful judges of the subtleties of the vintage industry. In order for us to communicate what's going on inside of us, when we're half blind to it, we hardly even know what is going on; in order for us to communicate that, we need to acquire and master first, the vocabulary."

"I grew up around sailor talk. My step-grandfather was a Marine drill instructor. My stepdad who is an undercover narcotics agent was a single child of that Marine drill instructor. We didn't exactly learn how to articulate what was going on emotionally. The philosophy was to shoot first and when the dust settles, figure out what the story was and who might have been guilty. That doesn't work very well in a marriage. Fortunately, my kids somehow survived being raised where they have mastered the world and done fabulously in life. "

"I want you to think a little bit about where we're going. The picture I want to put in your head is the difference between that kid game called 'chutes and ladders' and ridge-running. Yeah, you know, trying to be a mountain goat across those stones. Up and down the spine of a mountain? That's what I'm gonna be introducing you to. It's an arduous journey of patience and precision and accuracy... in the fog! Let me tell ya, It's really tough!"

Key Points

• It's NOT just a piece of S#i^^!
• It's a deeply felt wound with a name
• I'm feeling bitter frustration from an undeserved betrayal of a trusted 'mate'

WDWDWWD?

1. The emotions point to a deep wounding. Peel back memories to reveal it.
2. It has a name. Look at the list. Narrow it down. Write it down.
3. You now have a new emotional word list. Pull it out and look at it. Speak it out loud. Share it

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